Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Disneyland: Day 1

I'm really not even sure I'll write about each day, but I'll at least do this first one. (just a quick one before bed.) (That's what she said?) It was pretty cool. We actually didn't ride that many rides, but we somehow managed to worn out by 6. Splash Mountain kicked my ass & soaked me to the bone on the very first baby drop. Lines were long, but not too bad. I got an awesome hat with my name embroidered on it :) We had some delicious Papa John's pizza for dinner (bacon, ham, sausage, mushrooms, & black olives), & found a Filipino restaurant & now I'm having some pancit palabok for breakfast tomorrow morning! Wooo! Much better than the crappy sugar doughnut this morning that made me want to throw up as soon as I was done with it.

Anyway, just a few pictures, & then I'm off to bed.

My super-cute Minnie ears/hat!

My sister & I with our hats on! But my camera lens is all foggy thanks to stupid Splash Mountain. It looks like a picture from the 70's or something. lol

& Splash Mountain itself. I was soaked even before the big drop -_-

Monday, May 25, 2009

I've realized a new fear of mine.

So I just got done watching Benjamin Button (which was an incredible movie) & it seemed to have tapped into some fears of mine. One being, which isn't an uncommon one, death. It seemed like in a spilt second I became overwhelmed how real death is. It's going to happen to me one day. I imagine though that I'll be old. I can't even picture myself old. When you die, does a feeling of knowing it's your time consume you with a sensation starting in your toes & working it's way up? Who will miss me? Who will I leave behind? & oh my god, that's going to be me one day... It's just a fear of the unknown & a fear of losing what I haven't even gotten yet. When I'm at that point though, will I look back on my life with regret? Will there be things that I wish I had done? Would I think that I wasted my time one something? It's hard.. & there's a sadness that comes with thoughts like that.

The fear that realized today is kind of a strange one. I don't really know why, but for some reason ideas of getting married, kids, & all those things that are so far beyond me have been particularly sticking out in my mind. Maybe it's because I am so scared of all of those things that they stick out so. I don't know, but the fear of mine is the look on the man's face (whoever he may be) when I tell him that I'm pregnant. Will he be scared? Angry? Disappointed? Happy? Excited? Sad? Depressed? Ecstatic? Would he still want to be with me? Would he leave right then & there? Would he hug me? Would he kiss me? Would he cry? Would he say nothing at all? I guess it's that first initial moment right after I would say it is what I fear the most. I'm not sure if I would even watch. I'd have to though. I would be so incredibly terrified, but I'd have to know.. I think because a moment like that is such a toss up on what the outcome would be, I'm just too scared to even put myself in a situation like that. Not that I want to (ever) have kids, & especially right now.. or that I'm even with the right person.. I don't know. It just freaks me out to ask a question or to say something & completely, entirely, & honestly not know what the answer/reply is going to be.

Anyway, everyone's already knocked out (I'm the only one who actually made it through the entire movie) & I've got to wake up early tomorrow/in a few hours. I think we're heading down towards LA. I guess it's like 5-7 hours away from here. I hate riding in the car though. It makes me totally sick. bleh. Hopefully I can ride in the front this time; that should help a little.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Aw, balls.

I'm sick. :(

Not sick enough to call in sick.. yet. But it's getting there! I thought I was getting a little better because I wasn't coughing AS much this morning, but of course, when one thing goes away, something else shows up. Now I've got a runny/stuffy nose AND a cough! woooo! Oh, & I sneeze like crazy. "What kind of drink and/or food can I get started for--AHHHHHCHOOOOOOO!" Yeah, that's comforting for you, isn't it?

I think I'm just going to call it a night.. since I have work at 9am & I can't get a casual conversation out of Billy. asdfasfdasfdasdfsdfasdfasdfsdf bahhhh! Whatevs.